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Archive for the ‘empathy’ Category

Thoughts on the Tsunami

Digital Energy Art by Primalpainter

I know things happens, I know that, but the devastation and pain associated with this earthquake and tsunami are overwhelming.  I’ve been blocking it all out since I first heard about it until today and that dreaded moment when I sat down and actually looked at the images, listened to and read the stories and worst of all, allowed myself to feel the emotions of so many people grieving and in shock. 

Consequently, all day I’ve been in a deep depression, complete with overwhelming fatigue and a migraine,  and finally I just let myself cry it out and express that grief  (or at least some of it).  Being on the empathic side has its challenges.  With an individual it’s tricky yet do-able to keep their emotions from affecting my mood.  Not so easy when it comes to millions of people feeling similar strong emotions, though. 

The collective consciousness of a large group of people is powerful.  It’s like a tsunami of grief and fear, a heavy blanket of darkness.  Conversely, a large group of people feeling positive emotions and sending healing light can also be powerful.  Maybe that’s what we should all be doing in whatever way we feel is right.

One  thing that’s disturbing about not only this incident, but the whole gamut of crazy weather and earthquakes recently, is that December 21, 2012 is fast approaching.  Now I don’t  believe that the world will come to an end on that day, but even if it’s completely uneventful, the collective consciousness of billions of people with that expectation and fear could create it’s own problems.  I imagine the grocery store shelves being empty and  no gas will be the least of our self-inflicted problems. I also suspect that the crazy weather and natural disasters will continue and maybe even get worse. 

I get a newsletter from a guy named Mitch Battros called Earth Changes, here’s the link for his blog.   I don’t really know if he’s a kook or not, but I like to get a variety of viewpoints, then come to my own conclusions. Anyway, for the past couple of months, his newsletters have reported strong solar flares and other unusual solar activity that have triggered magnetic storms in the atmosphere.  He then follows up with  a warning to expect disruptive weather and earthquakes within the next 48 – 72 hours. I received his newsletter with news of violent solar activity shortly before this earthquake.  His warnings have been right on here lately.

Could there be a connection?  And when that alignment of the planets occurs in December 2012, which will happen based on scientific fact, will this trigger some huge magnetic shift that sets off  violent solar activity that then results in catastrophic events on earth?  We live in interesting times, but we must remember not to live in fear so as not to feed the beast. At the same time, it doesn’t hurt to be aware of the possibilities.

Sorry to be a downer, but I yam who I yam and this is who I yam today.  I’ll do something lighthearted tomorrow, I think I need it.

In Light,


Personal Development: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

This photo is a warp-ization of the view from my balcony.

I was thinking about personal development yesterday and how for me,  it’s been like a slingshot…..I’ll get pulled back further and further with  more and more tension, then at the breaking point and just in the nick of time, I’ll shoot forward and end up with some new revelations and epiphanies, and maybe even make a little progress.

Here’s a story (one of many) about an event that triggered a big jump in my self awareness.  Ever since I can remember, I’ve been told by those who had the most influence over me, that I was just too sensitive, like it was a bad thing or something to overcome….”You need to grow a thick skin if you want to get by in this world, you’re just too sensitive”.  And I was sensitive, things affected me deeply and I bought into it.  I learned to laugh and joke to hide it.

At the time, I had no clue that much of what I was feeling was actually the emotions of other people and that those emotions didn’t even belong to me yet I was taking them in and making them my own.  It wasn’t until I was thirty years old that I finally had that “what the……?” moment when I realized what was really happening.  I’m an empath, but not some big magical empath with great powers, just… empath.

I was renting space at a place called Englers Block in Branson, Missouri.  I was doing woodburned portraits from photographs on cedar plaques at the time.  This lady walks up to me, hands me a small photo and says “Can you do a portrait of her?”  It was a school photo of a pretty girl about 8 years old.  I looked at this photo and within seconds my chest started to get tight, my throat started to get tight, my stomach felt sick and I burst into tears.  And I’m not talkin’ a little tear in my eye, I’m talkin’ a full blown loud sob session, enough to turn heads and make a scene. Rather embarrassing…….

She remained completely dry-eyed and stoic and said “That’s my daughter, she died a month ago.”  Whaat? Well I just lost it……full blown, uninhibited melt down.  I pulled myself together eventually, apologized to all the concerned people who had gathered around, but I don’t remember what happened with the portrait or the lady.  She had served her purpose, I guess.

I do, however, remember the astonishing realization that apparently I pick up on and express other people’s emotions, most noticeably unexpressed grief.  From that point on, I started to see myself in a different way.  Maybe being too sensitive wasn’t really a bad thing, I just needed to work with it and either allow others emotions to  come into me and pass on through without owning them, or  put up an energetic shield that protects me from feeling those emotions altogether.

I always seem to forget to put up that shield, but I’ve gotten much better at recognizing when something doesn’t belong to me .  I don’t really understand what purpose all of this serves, but I do know that I’m one of those people that gets confided in alot and sometimes I stumble across the right thing to say.  I have a tendency to isolate myself, though.

Now I get accused of being naive about certain people’s bad behavior.  I see it as more of an awareness of  the root emotion behind the behavior which seems to feel more like a wounded child than a bad adult.  

Now the trick is to avoid being co-dependent and taking on too much responsibility for another person who needs to learn their own lessons at their own pace.

Maann, there’s always somethin’……..!

Well that’s enough deep thought for today.

Have a good one!